your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
