he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
