he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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