i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
