Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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