everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He has the fingertips of a God
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