shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
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