one two three fourrrrnication!
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
