Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
