I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
