OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
