Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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