im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
This is the prime rib incident all over again
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
