why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
