If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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