Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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