it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
