AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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