Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
