he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
