i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
