So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
