I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
