STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
