I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
vagina is talking i cant
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
