i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
