I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
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