Is it because I queefed?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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