I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I had to cum in my sink.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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