y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Rumble strips road head = magical
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
