so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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