I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Randomize
