wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Welp...herpes.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
