Kiss
Puke
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
