Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
