Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
