I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
