i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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