watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
