Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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