can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
