I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
