Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
this beer tastes like vomit already
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
