Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
