On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
