your room smells of hookers.
And success
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
