I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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