So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
True strength comes from lack of pants
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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