My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
