He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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