wat bout pragnant strippers??
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
