Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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